11 Jul My Cave
I feel like am in a cave, alone, but instead of feeling confined, am quite frivolous. Am so used to my amble pace, and my space that I don’t want anything to ruin it. Sure enough, I want people in my life, to live well with my neighbours, be a good friend, be present with my family, am working on it. However, I have come to love myself, and how I love each day so much, am proud of myself. Everyday, I wake up with a prayer to find God’s favour and be a better version of myself than I was yesterday. Am not badly off, I have sensed growth within me, am not sure if it can be seen on the outside, but my soul is peaceful.
I don’t know if it’s true that most creative people are great because they put their pain in their work. What I know is, a while back when I was at the lowest points of my life, words just flowers out of me, I never ever paused to think, my pen was continuously carving the words from my soul. Now, I have to sit back and think, am happy about it though, because now I have to push my mind and search through my emotions, which I believe is really good form me.
When I said I felt as if I was in a cave, it’s not dark, one with no visible way out. It’s more like those caves you visit to find yourself, to know yourself, to speak with the universe and to find connection with the Higher being. But, just like any other cave, it’s frightening, it’s scary, there are trials and temptations, there are times you want to escape, hide in the darker sides of the cave, or just give up on the whole purpose of being there and run. It takes faith to get through it.
Being told not to compare myself with others ha sbeen constant in my life, but what they don’t tell you is that it’s really hard. Like for me, I look at some of my college mates who are now basically intelligentsia people in our profession, and then there are my friends already doing so well, who seem to have already had a grasp of their life. Doing so well in their careers, starting families, moving to places all over the world. Then here I am, in my cave, having not yet figured it all out.
Time is precious and am aware of it, but you know makes me accept it all and be peaceful; is the believe I have for my journey, the patience given to me by the Most High, the faith on promises given to me by Him, the manifestations I see on my life, the successes that am achieving, and the clear goal, the vision, the purpose and the destiny prepared for me by Him.
Very soon I will live fully in a blessing, I will live in a dream, in my purpose, in His promises and before they all come to pass, I will continue to grow, to find myself, to know who I am, in this cave. And just as He provided meals and companion to the prophets in the deserts, He does the same for me. Food for my body, and my spirit. Am talking of the Father, Lord Jesus, and the Holy spirit who guides me.